Fulfillment! So many people today feel empty, and because of this, many people try to find ways they can satisfy that empty feeling. Food, drugs, many inappropriate means are very popular, as folks try to come to terms with their dissatisfaction and even despair.
The questions always asked are, “What can I do? How can I make things better?” And our society tries to give us answers, helpful suggestions, medications (some of which are needed), groups to attend, books to read. Many of the solutions offered are extremely helpful, but it is rare today to hear anyone suggest that the answer to our problems, our sense of emptiness, may be to let go, not of life, but of our need to always be the one in control.
In those days Peter stood up among the believers (together the crowd numbered about one hundred twenty persons) and said, "Friends, the scripture had to be fulfilled, which the Holy Spirit through David foretold concerning Judas, who became a guide for those who arrested Jesus-- for he was numbered among us and was allotted his share in this ministry."
Our first reading today, from the Acts of the Apostles, gives us an interesting glimpse into the lives of the earliest Christians. In this story, they were fresh from having witnessed Jesus’ Ascension. His last words to them were: ...you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. So they’ve returned to Jerusalem to await the promised gift of the Holy Spirit.
It was during this time between the Ascension of Jesus and the coming of the Spirit on the Day of Pentecost, that Peter felt compelled to fill the void left by the defection of Judas Iscariot, the one who had betrayed the Lord. And, yes, we all know that in another way Peter had also betrayed Jesus. But then, unlike Judas, Peter was willing to seek and accept forgiveness. Jesus had told him ahead of time what to do: "And you, when once you have turned back, strengthen your brothers." (Luke 22:32) Now we see him doing it.
Twelve is an important number in the Bible, especially because of the twelve tribes of Israel. So it must have seemed important to Peter that there be twelve apostles to carry on the ministry, to be witnesses to Christ "in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."
There were certain criteria for the one who would fill the empty place. It must be someone who had accompanied them during all the time that the Lord Jesus went in and out among them, beginning from the baptism of John until the day when He was taken up from them. The one to be chosen must have been, from the beginning, a witness to all that Jesus said and did in His earthly ministry. There must have been several among the company of about 120 people who would have qualified, but two persons were proposed: one was Joseph called Barsabbas, also known as Justus, and the other was Mathias. Then we come to the most fascinating aspect of the passage.
Then they prayed and said, "Lord, you know everyone's heart. Show us which one of these two you have chosen to take the place in this ministry and apostleship from which Judas turned aside to go to his own place." And they cast lots for them, and the lot fell on Matthias; and he was added to the eleven apostles.
Once the disciples have prayed over the candidates, rather than hold an election, they cast lots. What a strange way to choose. “Ridiculous,” we say. We cannot accept the idea of not controlling things ourselves, not doing everything in a democratic fashion. To us it would be impossible to make such an important choice on the toss of a coin, and yet, that was how the new Apostle was chosen.
The Apostles weren’t fools. They did not abdicate their responsibility. They first took the necessary steps, they found the appropriate candidates, they brought them before the people, and before God, and then they did what it is so difficult for us to imagine, they surrendered their control. They put it all in God’s hands and let God make the final choice.
Jesus prayed for His disciples, saying, "Holy Father, protect them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one, as we are one.”
Certainly in today’s Gospel Jesus is the one in control. It is Jesus who stands among the disciples and speaks the words of what the Church has come to call the High Priestly Prayer.
While I was with them, I protected them in your name that you have given me. I guarded them, and not one of them was lost except the one destined to be lost, so that the scripture might be fulfilled.
It is a powerful prayer – definitely establishing Jesus’ authority. But then He says:
But now I am coming to you, and I speak these things in the world so that they may have my joy made complete in themselves.
Jesus is leaving. We can only imagine the incredible sense of loss that must have swept over the disciples, that empty sinking feeling that must have rushed into their very hearts and souls. Some of us may have known this kind of empty terror; it is similar to the feeling experienced when we learn a loved one has a terminal illness. It is a sense of powerlessness, of being out of control, and it makes us both desperate and angry.
Finality, over which we have no power, strikes at the core of who and what we are. We are raised to take charge of our lives. We then go forth into the world and take charge of the lives of children, co-workers, and sometimes elderly or infirm relatives. We take charge of situations in church, and in our daily life and work. To be told everything must end, now, without our consent, is shattering.
Jesus knows that this is the situation that will soon face His followers. What will He do? At this moment of personal crisis, when it would seem that Jesus should be primarily concerned about Himself, He prays. We modems, accustomed to our rationalistic mode of thinking and behaving, might be tempted to call Jesus’ response normal in the context of His time. “Oh – everyone prayed back then,” we might say. But before casually dismissing the activity He engages in, we should take a deeper look at it.
One of the most loving, most intimate acts we can perform is to pray. When we pray, we reveal our nature at its deepest levels. Perhaps that is one reason why so many people have such a hard time with prayer. It is difficult to open ourselves fully and completely to God. We, who so desperately want everything to be “all right”, who want God to take a hand in our lives, to respond to our petitions and ease our pain, we are loathe to relinquish our control, our lives to Him. We ask for what we want, but are unwilling to give up control to God in order to receive His response.
We give ourselves a lot of “good” reasons for our reluctance. We tell ourselves that we need to “be responsible”, that this is “our problem”, we even say, “The Lord helps those who help themselves”. We argue that God may not give us what we ask for, that surrendering to Him might bring heartache. But in the end, what we’re doing is holding on, because we don’t trust Jesus, and we’re too afraid to give God control over our lives.
Does prayer work? Are our prayers truly answered? Prayer is always answered, though not always in the exact way we might wish. We may not get our list of petitions fulfilled exactly as we had expected, but what we do receive will be that which strengthens, sustains, supports, and enables us. Of course, we have to be willing to accept God’s will. Those angry people who say God has not answered them usually mean that they did not like the answer they received, because it took control out of their hands while placing their lives on the road to holiness.
Jesus offers us the example of trust that we are meant to emulate. In His final prayers He reveals the essence of His nature. Under pressure, worried about the future, Jesus prays not just for Himself but for all whom He has grown to love. In His prayers, Jesus does what leaders often find difficult to do: He accepts His own powerlessness and gives up control. He places His own life and the disciples’ lives under the protection and care of God.
Jesus calls us to surrender. Then with trust in God we find the way He wants us to go, the path He has chosen for us to follow, the fulfillment we long for – and peace that passes understanding.
Let us pray:
Lead us, Lord, lead us in Your righteousness, make Your way plain before us. For it is You Lord only, that makes us dwell in safety. In Jesus Name, Amen.