Mary and Martha

In my childhood, like many girls of the time, I was a Girl Scout. Scouting has changed a lot since then, but I started out as a Brownie Scout and flew up to Girl Scout. One of the fun things about becoming a full-fledged Scout was earning badges. Each badge was a green circle on which was embroidered an emblem or symbol that represented the category in which the Scout had achieved proficiency. Originally sewn on the sleeve of the uniform, by my time badges were being sewn on a sash worn across the Scout’s chest.

One badge I clearly remember earning was the Hospitality Badge. In those days, hospitality was something at which women were expected to excel. The symbol embroidered on the badge was a cup and saucer with steam rising from the cup. I guess the Scout could decide whether the cup contained tea or coffee, but the contents of the cup weren’t important. All that mattered was the steaming cup itself. That was what the Girl Scouts of American felt best represented hospitality, and many today would agree that it was a wise choice. But was it? Is that what hospitality is all about?

As Jesus and his disciples went on their way, Jesus entered a certain village, where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home

The Gospel lesson presents us with a familiar hospitable image. However, as modern listeners there are points here that we can easily miss, some of which would have truly appalled the listeners of Jesus’ time. The ancient listener would have immediately been struck by the unusual nature of a household headed by a woman. Then comes the shocking realization that Jesus has crossed Jewish cultural boundaries by being alone in the house with women who are not His relatives. And then - He actually teaches one of them right there in her home. For anyone who heard this in Jesus’ time, the information would have bordered on the scandalous. Of course, for us these images serve a purpose. Jesus, by example, is showing us the inclusiveness of His love.

Martha is, for us, familiar. She rolls up her sleeves and goes to work preparing the dinner. She has gone to the market, purchased fruits and vegetables, and had a nice lamb butchered. She’s cleaned the house, shaken out the rugs, chopped the vegetables, set the bread out to rise. She knows the lamb could get tough if she puts it in the oven too soon, and she doesn’t want to over-bake the bread. Should she go to the trouble of making seating assignments? Maybe she should switch Mary’s place to farther down the table, since it seems Mary is already spending so much time with Jesus. This is Martha’s agenda, and she prepares in her good hearted way to make Jesus welcome.

Then there is Mary – sitting quietly at Jesus feet, hanging on His every word. She is the sort of relative that tends to drive most of us crazy, because she isn’t helping Martha. We never stop to think, as we hear this familiar Gospel, that Mary may not actually be capable of the kind of output Martha is making, that Mary may not have Martha’s kind of energy, or perhaps doesn’t know how to organize a meal as Martha does. Mary is doing what she knows how to do, she’s listening, and it’s very likely that Jesus is extremely pleased to have an eager listener sitting at His feet, the place, another shocker, traditionally occupied by a disciple. However, whatever Mary’s reasons for being where she is, Martha is obviously upset.

What has happened? Martha has gone to work to make Jesus welcome, and has ended up frustrated with her sister. For Martha, presenting the perfect meal is what matters most, it is, as we might say today, “her thing”, being the perfect hostess. Unlike Mary, she isn’t into learning more from the Rabbi, she’s into impressing Him. Martha has meant to offer Jesus the warmest hospitality possible, and while she is actually accomplishing this, she is so distracted and has become so overwhelmed with her tasks, she’s lost sight of the most important thing of all – the guest Himself.

Martha has done the right thing in inviting Jesus into her home, but then she doesn’t spend time with Him, or, for that matter, with Mary. Martha has, as we sometimes do, forgotten that hospitality is meant to be an expression of love, the love we feel for friends and family, and at a deeper level the love we have for Jesus. There is an old saying, “Let every guest be received as Christ.”

Every task we do in our lives is meant to be done whole heartedly, knowing that we are working for and with God. What matters isn’t what we’re doing, or how impressed everyone will be when we’ve finished. What matters is how much love, how much honesty, and how much faith we put into our work.

Recently, I asked my sister how she would define “hospitality”, and without missing a beat she responded, “Coffee and sandwiches.” She then ran through a list of other preparations she felt were necessary, setting the table, buying flowers, vacuuming up the dog hair – and somewhere at the end, as an afterthought, she mentioned making her guests welcome.

We all tend to be Martha, including the men, because if you’re the one who runs the vacuum cleaner, or are the family cook, or the one working the Bar-B-Q, you’re probably thinking about getting the house really clean, or getting the meal, or the burgers and corn, just right, and not about how much love your work expresses for your friends and for God.

Martha finally can no longer stand Mary’s inactivity, but instead of asking, or even telling Mary to help, Martha does what we are all warned against, she triangulates. “Jesus, make Mary help me.” It’s a divisive move.

Jesus’ responds, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."

In the Middle Ages this response was the basis for the belief that the contemplative religious life was the highest form of spiritual calling. However, there’s another way to understand what Jesus is telling his disgruntled hostess. Martha has made an ego investment in producing an excellent meal and a perfect evening, and in so doing she’s separated herself from Mary, Jesus, and any other guests who may arrive. She’s become isolated in a dilemma of her own making. Jesus is inviting her back into the exchange of thoughts and feelings and fellowship, into warmth and companionship and love.

We are commanded to spread the Gospel of joy and love, and strange as it may at first sound, we have to begin that work with the small things, the things we often think of as our own private, personal work. Martha never stopped to consider that the most important thing of all wasn’t how well the lamb was cooked, but, rather, how happy and welcome Mary had made Jesus feel. Martha had the ability to do the same thing for Jesus, but instead she wrapped herself up in, and isolated herself in her work

We don’t hear, in today’s Gospel, what Martha said back to Jesus. In this day and age it would have been a sarcastic, “Thanks a lot!” That’s what we’d say, because it’s so easy to see ourselves as the injured party, and not to welcome the reminder we’ve created our problem ourselves. And - no one likes to complain only to be told to relax. We get into doing our thing, making our presentation, and we forget that nothing we do should be “all about us”. We want to be appreciated, and we can be, but that is not meant to be our focus. It is not our calling. We are called to do everything with love and for Jesus. Hospitality is a frame of mind, one that includes all, loves all, puts all before self, and does it for Jesus. This is how we are meant to live.

For us to do Jesus’ work in this world, for us to be hospitable people, our lives have to be full of and focused on Him. For us to be able to spread His peace, joy, and love we must have it ourselves, because we can’t offer others something we don’t have. In our lives we need to slow down and remember even our precious projects aren’t worth anything, if they’re only “all about us”.

Unfortunately, like Martha, we seem to feel that we have great things to accomplish and therefore we can’t stop what we’re doing. The prevalent thought in our society is that we’re “wasting valuable time” if we set some of it aside for relaxation and prayer. This kind of thinking is our spiritual downfall. We need to make time for Jesus and for each other.

The truth is, our lives are wasted and have no meaning whatsoever without Jesus. All that is needed for our lives to be rich and full is time spent with our Lord. The Girl Scouts defined hospitality as a steaming cup of coffee or tea. The dictionary defines hospitality as the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. True hospitality is welcoming Jesus into our hearts and sharing His love with each and every person we meet.

"Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; there is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."

Let us pray:

O God of peace, who has taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and confidence shall be our strength: By the might of your Spirit lift us, we pray you to your presence, where we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.