Jesus said to His disciples, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
Today is Mother’s Day, and what a great day to talk about love. It is as if the Gospel lesson was chosen to reflect the love certainly most, though possibly not all, of us feel when we think about our mother. Mothers do their best to make us feel, and let us know, that we always come first. As we grow older, the rosy glow that surrounds “mother” becomes deeper, but with the wisdom of age come some revelations.
Mothers can be tired and impatient. Mothers have good days and bad ones. They laugh and cry just like everyone else. We come to understand that for our mother, love is not all a bed of roses, because love takes up time, takes strength and energy, and requires many sacrifices. On Mother’s Day we want to think about flowers and warmth and joy, but while today’s Gospel speaks of love it is also shadowed by real sadness, by Jesus’ knowledge that His life is nearing its end.
Our gospel reading is taken from the low point in Jesus’ ministry. Soon, He will go to Gethsemane and then on to the Cross. John, our Gospel writer, does not portray Jesus’ agony. Instead, John portrays the truth about Jesus.
The truth is that in His last hours Jesus came to see His disciples in a new way. He gives them the commandment to love one another, and He says, “You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing, but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.”
Jesus’ love is being more deeply expressed, even as the stress in His life is increasing. He is offering so much to His disciples, but they have to deal with the same difficult transition we make as we grow in knowledge of our mother – from seeing their rosy image of Jesus and what their lives will be as His followers, to the truth.
Those first disciples had planned to follow Jesus to the top of the heap and sit upon thrones in His kingdom. Then, suddenly and unexpectedly, on Maundy Thursday (not that long ago in our Church calendar), the Man on top got down on the bottom and began to wash the feet of His followers – incredible! It was unlike anything the disciples could have imagined. The Man they thought would be king was kneeling at their feet! What was this all about?
It would be awhile before they would discover the answer. The next day their Leader was gone, and they were dispersed. Their illusions shattered and their hopes dashed, they needed some light for their darkness. That’s when it happened –Jesus, the One who had called them friend, was there to brighten up this darkest of nights. Over the centuries, many of us have had the same experience — in the midst of the darkest night, we discover a needed friend. (When we were little, mother was often that friend.)
Jesus calls us friends, but what is friendship with Jesus all about? When I was a child, I used to daydream that Jesus was my friend and we would walk hand and hand into church together. This daydream made me feel special. Years later, my Special Friend has let me know that to be His friend requires much, done without any expectation of applause or reward. We are very special to Him, but being His friends does not include fame or fortune or even recognition. Rather, His friendship requires us to grow up and become servants in His Name.
And there is another thing. We, who are His friends, have the privilege, the duty, to introduce Jesus to people we know, and say, “This is my friend, the Messiah!” It sounds embarrassing to say it that way, because having Jesus as a friend is a matter for gratitude not pride, but it’s easy to forget that bringing Him to others is part of our calling. Indeed, there is a lot expected of us as Jesus’ friends.
Perhaps, we’ve come to take our relationship with Him for granted, perhaps, our relationship is just superficial, but here are some of the things that can happen when we open ourselves to a real friendship with Jesus.
Friends want the same things. That doesn’t mean superficial things like sharing tastes in food or sports. It doesn’t mean sharing common values like honesty, kindness, generosity and openness. Real friends must share themselves in such a way that the well-being of the one depends on the fulfillment of the deepest longings of the other. Friendship with Jesus means that our own happiness is bound up with the fulfillment of Jesus’ deepest desires. And Jesus’ deepest desire, the thing for which He gave everything, was the reconciliation of every human being to Himself and to one another.
Second, friends speak their minds to each other openly, fully, and without fear. Real friends cannot withhold their true feelings, thoughts, desires, and expectations from each other and still maintain the strength and truthfulness of their relationship. That means we do not worry about the suitability of our prayers. It is folly not to tell Jesus about our anger, to try to pretend that we don’t have the feelings we have. So much of our prayer time seems empty because we hold back everything that has meaning for us. We need to share our deepest desires and feelings even when we think we may disappoint our friend. Jesus can take it. That’s what the Cross was all about.
Third, friends hold each other accountable. Some people think that a loving God cannot be a judging God, but real friends expect a lot of each other. What our friend does matters to us. We expect our friend to be faithful to the friendship, and to keep his or her promises. It is important that we spend time developing our friendship with Jesus. We cannot just assume that Jesus will go the extra mile and take care of our relationship, Jesus is not co-dependent. He never takes on more than His share of the friendship.
Finally, friends need each other. There can be no friendship where one person is powerless and vulnerable while the other holds all the power, has no needs, and is invulnerable to hurt from the other. In Jesus, God chose to cast His lot with us, so what we do matters to Him. Jesus needed His disciples to carry on His work, and He needs us to do the same today. Of course, He’ll carry on without us, but the loss of a friendship is deeply painful to Jesus. If we want to have genuine friendship with Jesus, we must spend as much time asking what we can do for Him, as we do telling him what He can do for us.
Today is Mothers’ Day, and we think lovingly about the woman whose love and comfort, protection and caring, nurtured us and helped make us who we are today. But we also think about how as we aged, we grew to know her better, how we learned to “be there” for her, and possibly how we cared for her as she grew older. We took on responsibilities that originally only she carried – responsibilities to love and support, and share the load.
Jesus asks the same of us. He invites us to be His friends, but this is challenging, because He wants us to grow in our friendship with Him, to become responsible, to love as He has commanded us to do, without conditions or limits.
Part of being Jesus’ friends, is to want to be like Him, to want to listen and respond to Him, and to want to do the work He gives us. Then in quiet moments we will walk with Him in the cool of the evening, friend with friend, sit and rest a while, love and be loved, knowing peace and silence in the company of God.
Let it be so, Friend Jesus, let it be so.
Let us pray:
Come Lord Jesus, and dwell in our hearts in the fullness of Your strength; be our wisdom, and guide us in right pathways; conform our lives and actions to the image of Your holiness. We are so often like children, relying on You, help us also to be responsible adults in Your service. All this we ask for Your Love and mercy’s sake. Amen.